SilverAcorn

There’s glitter on my keyboard and down my shirt.

No- I haven’t gone completely bonkers with the holiday decor- I’ve just been addressing Christmas and Midwinter-Holiday-Of-Your-Choice cards. And a bunch of them had glitter stuck all over the fronts for that little thrill of added excitement. And a lot of it came off all over me and my surroundings ere the cards were safely stowed in their pristine white envelopes, and now I’m sparkling. Literally.     O_O

I was sending cards to friends, family, and a number of total strangers-  (These last were mostly military stationed overseas, plus a few “online friends”). That’s in quotes because I don’t REALLY know them- I have not ever met them and I probably never will. All I know about them is what they tell me and the rest of the world. That mom of 3 in Sussex might actually be a solitaty bearded hermaphrodite hoarder with a house full of antique lizard presses, for all I know.  Which would actually be pretty interesting. But you see my point. Anyway my online friends are pretty wonderful, and I get all excited when I hear from them.

Some of the cards were for kids who wanted to get mail of their own- others were for people who were just wishing for holiday cards from SOMEONE.

I remember the Christmas when I was 3. My parents were recently divorced, and I was living with my mother in a little rented house in a bad neighborhood in a strange town. We didn’t know many people there yet. We were extremely poor, had no car, and few possessions. Oh, and no Christmas stuff. No tree, no stockings, not even a strand of ratty tinsel. We aren’t talking Dickens type poverty, but it was pretty bleak.

We got one card in the mail- it was from my mom’s insurance agent. My mom cried when she looked at it. I was clueless as to why- to a 3 year old a card is a card. I wanted to hang it up somewhere- a garland of one card- because I wanted our house to look like other people’s did.

Hell, I wasn’t expecting presents and enchanted gingerbread houses to appear- I just wanted a little normalcy.

Mom did not go for the “garland of card” idea. As an adult I see why. How lonely she must have felt, far from everyone she knew, facing an uncertain future, and burdened with a young child. I think she threw the card away, seeing it  merely as an ironic reminder of her isolation.

As I stacked envelopes into a tidy pile and sneezed glitter on a passing cat, I remembered the lone card and the yelling and crying. It left me pondering the meaning and purpose of holiday cards.

For some, sending and recieving them is a way of keeping in touch. Perhaps a Christmas newsletter is enclosed.  Personally, I don’t do newsletters because I figure in my case the people who care already know and the ones who don’t know probably don’t care. My friends are awesome AND low-maintenance. But I do enjoy the sense of a job well done as I pop a tidy stack of cards in the mailbox and raise the little red flag.

Some people love to send and recieve them. For others, it’s one more blasted chore on the endless list of Christmas duties.

For military far from home, any mail is good mail- it’s partly about actually hearing your name at mail call, plus a reminder that home still exists. It gets awful damn lonely out in the black… I remember. So does my husband, who was out at sea EVERY single Christmas during his enlistment.

Some people dispay the cards like piles of glitter encrusted treasure, while others toss them in a corner and rediscover them in mid January.

Do you like sending and or recieving them? Why? Would you value a card sent by a total stranger? Or would it seem creepy? Would you examine the wording carefully looking for signs of a psycho stalker? What if it was a completely anonymous card with no return address from a state you’d never visited? “Ho, Ho, Ho, I know where you live…neener neener neener…”

Ok, I totally have to send some of those now. I shall be the postal stalker what stalks by midnight! BWAHAHAHA…

But seriously, I’d love to hear what YOU think about holiday cards.

And if you’re sending some out anyway, send one to a soldier. You’ll get tons of good karma.

There is a beautiful hand turned wooden bowl that sits on our coffee table. It was a Christmas gift from my son to my husband, Christmas 2008. The maker’s name is carefully woodburned into the bottom-” The Cranky Craftsman- walnut- 8/08″

Chris bought it for his dad at a craft show at which all 3 of us were selling our work. He used money he’d earned that evening, and added in one of his handmade chainmail bracelets to sweeten the deal. He was 12 at the time, and so proud of being able to buy such a finely made thing with his OWN money.

Mike was thrilled with the gift and gave it pride of place display, centered on the formerly bare wooden table. It’s been there ever since.

The wooden bowl

Not long ago, I was looking at the bowl with pleasure, and thinking about all the things it has held since it came into our home. It has been a temporary home for a number of small items… A few weeks ago I fished out the hammered silver bangles I’d placed in it when I was about to wash the dishes; the 3 unique bracelets had been made by 2 different jewelry artisans I know. The bowl has also held miniture dolls in progress, a few found stones and acorns, a ring my little sister gave me, and the watch Chris recieved in his stocking last Christmas ( a passdown from his father; the watch Mike wore 20 years ago in the Navy).

3 days ago our kitten, Echo, was carefully dropping a pink ponytail holder into the empty bowl, and then snatching it out again, over and over, with an expression of total concentration. It was enchanting to watch.

And at the moment, the bowl holds a tiny wooden puzzle- one of a set of 3 that I recently found at a thrift store and shared out among my friends.  Underneath, there’s a small stack of papers- exit paperwork from the company my husband has worked for for the last 3 years. The company is being sold and the doors are closing. (Just so you know, he signed with another company yesterday, so we are ok. But he’s going to miss the people he worked with. From the CEO on down, it was a good company filled with nice folks.)

That bowl, made with care and love, bought and given with pride, and cherished by the recipient, has become something of a symbol for me. It reminds me of the things we do together as a family, and of the many ways in which we enrich our own and eachother’s lives. We aren’t rich, but we have a number of splendid and unique things that we would probably not be able to afford if we did not make them ourselves or know the artists who made them. We are rich in beauty, rich in skill, and rich in love.

Chris gets to grow up, as I did, surrounded by artists and artisans and musicians.  The house is full of paper, paints, scripts and scraps. We tell eachother stories and exchange handmade gifts. Parties are wonderful; you may see anything from a cutthroat board game to an impromptu bellydance class, and there’s usually someone in a corner teaching someone a new embroidery or leatherworking technique. Plus a whole lot of “Geek Speak” since more than half of us work in IT one way or another. In the same evening, Chris is likely to pick up some info on corporate politics, a reccomendation on a show he might like to audition for, and get into a serious discussion on comic book vs. Hollywoood X-men. 

It’s a nice way to live. And it’s a very nice bowl.

Being a child at heart myself plus being a toymaker got me thinking about what every child SHOULD have. Starting with the basics- a safe home, food, clothing, school and whatever learning tools are needed for school (be it home school, public, private…) and of course, love and respect. But beyond that…

My list would start with:
Building toy like blocks or legos.
At least one good doll or action figure, preferably with lots of accessories.
A bike.
At least one outfit that makes him or her feel fabulous.
Books.
Drawing paper, pencils, and paints.
An animal to be friends with. (Not nececessarily their pet or even a pet, but an animal companion/aquaintance of some sort.)
Birthday cake.
The chance to stay up ridiculously late once in a while.
A box to keep small treasures in.

So. You’re trying to make your money go further… and you have already read all those helpful magazine tips.  “Give up that $5 a day designer coffee habit… negotiate with Visa to lower those interest rates… buy your designer fashions at consignment shops and get that $8000.00 gown for a mere $1,500.00… ”

Yeah. All well and good as far as it goes. But what if the last time you went to Starbucks was 6 months ago, your credit is poor or non existent, and forget designer fashions; Goodwill seems a tad pricey these days.  Buying in bulk would be awesome, but you only have $12 in checking…

One of the first things to do is squirrel away a few bucks. Just a few to start. How?

Drop your change in a jar, get $2 cashback when you slide your debit card at the grocery store, when a friend pays you back that $5 from last month, drop that in there too. Treat any little windfall that you don’t need for survival as an opportunity to save. It can add up pretty fast, even on a microscopic budget.  In a few weeks, you’ll have a little- or not so little- stash of cash.

Now that you have a little wiggle room and feel more empowered, you can start having fun.

1. Think ahead.  If your kid is heading for ANOTHER growth spurt any day now, you can watch yard sales, thrift stores, and clearance racks. Don’t wait till what they have is already too small and you have to pay full price because you have a jeans crisis. 

2. If you don’t know how to cook, LEARN.  You’ll save a small fortune if you aren’t buying convenience foods. The library has hundreds of books just waiting to show you how.

3. Buy quality stuff. It lasts longer, looks better, works better… Let’s talk examples.  Say your  child has an upcoming birthday.  Do you go for a handful of dollar store stuff? Buy ANOTHER flimsy electronic  gizmo that is supposed to entertain the kid with clicky noises and lights, and is fun for 5 minutes and then gets forgotten?

Nah- odds are the grandparents or the party guests have that one covered anyway.

If you buy a nice  toy-  a  good  quality one, with lasting play value,  your money will go a LOT further in the long run. Sometimes even in the short run.  Again, watch for sales, or better yet, buy from an independant artisan like me. (Yep, that’s a shameless plug.)  Seriously, though, look around. If you can support an indie artist or a small business, it’s good for everyone.

But let’s look at some other examples. The kids fed the dog and for some reason known only to 7 year olds they used your last mixing bowl instead of the dog dish. And the dog loved the food- and the plastic bowl- and now you have little yellow shreds everywhere.

After you get done yelling, you can go buy another $2 plastic mixing bowl.  This  will make the dog happy.  OR- you can mix the cookie dough in the soup pot for a while, save the $2, and keep checking for deals on a stainless steel bowl. You can find them for less than $1 at yard sales, around $3-$6 in stores like Marshalls, or $10 to $30 at those wonderful drool worthy gourmet cooking shops. And the stainless steel one is darn near indestructible.

Sneakers-  you can get the $10 ones at Wal-mart. They are vinyl, cheaply sewn, and not all that comfy. They fall apart, often before your son outgrows them.  OR- you can pay $20 for much better sneakers from the clearance rack at a department store or closeout place.  The better ones will last 4 times as long- maybe even be a passdown to a little brother if outgrown quickly.  And overall, you spent LESS. 

(See, this is why you were stashing away a few bucks, so you’d have that wiggle room and could comparrison shop!)

4. Trade, barter, share. Need meat? Ask around. Maybe there is a friend of a friend who hunts, and would swap you a few pounds of venison in exchange for you mending a torn jacket. 

 Maybe you can’t carpool to work- but what about carpooling to the grocery store? Every little bit helps.

You make lovely jewelry- and your daughter wants a new dress for that special doll. You can see who’s good at sewing and wants a new necklace.

Have friends over for a potluck supper.  Good company, cheap food, everyone wins.

5.  Re-use, recycle, repurpose… whatever you want to call it, it’s good for your budget- and for the enviorenment. Save money AND bask in the glow of virtue.  Make a torn skirt into a pillow or a tote bag or a doll dress. Turn an odd sock into a toy for the dog. Take those chewed up mixing bowl bits and use them as confetti…  well, maybe not.  But you get the idea.